sex, drugs and barter (oh ps eric too!)

pardon my enthusiasm, but it has been a while. :)

wow. just wow.

short story long, i've been vacillating for a while now over meeting this guy who i'd chatted with off and on from a dating site (of sorts. :9 ) well, the final hurdle dropped for sure yesterday and so i threw caution to the wind and said to hell with it.

thank the mighty mighty zeuss for rash impulses.

i just....he...and then when he and then... and i tried to....and then he, oh my and it was so....and then just....thud. i'm genuinely lightheaded and dizzy recounting it.

what's most phenomenal is that, discounting a slight beer buzz, i was str8.

economy and circumstance dictate a certain want in my department 420 repetoire, and over the last few days, i have begun to view it as a big plus.
why?
because i know, or have suspected maybe, while "addict" is not the case-because, if im out, oh well, no big, don't have to rob and steal to score, BUT (here's my big but) when i'm not out i self-enabled, um, myself, waaaaaay too much. numb certainly is better than hurting sometimes.
sometimes you need the clarity that hurting brings, the closure.

but not when it comes to other things....

you remember how it feels to be with someone-somewhere public-not particularly intimate-
but nonetheless *feeling* intimate? being aware of every shift of their leg,every brush or touch, however accidental or planned?? electric? it's been so long since i felt like that, i quite literally forgot how it felt. what's weird is i'm already scared i'm going to forget the way it feels, now.
like a heat miser,

if only they could come up with a drug that makes you feel like that,....all right, so they did, lol but i mean an over the counter one! if they did? moneeeeeeeey!!


so i figured my night could not improve, even after the internet AND cable had been out all day and night-still out when i left for work this am, (cable is not infallible either, dtv naysayers!)but i digress, lol (quelle surprise!) so i find myself still pine-ing on pins and needles, anxiously, breathlessly waiting to see my much beloved new cable crack, true blood, with claire. hopefully tomorrow. (please please please) it can't be tonight because she is doing her volunteer library work tomorrow. i can't believe my little bit is so cool, sometimes. and since they adore her, she pulled a favor and got me a copy of the last sookie book, new and only available in hardback right now, since i finished all the others in less than a week. now im fucked because i HAVE to buy it. eric on the cover which means eric is in it. oh hell yes is he ever IN it.....it's my ultimate nerdy dork fangirl fantasy and now i have to pledge my soul to charlaine harris for doing my perverted bidding and giving me the hottest read of my life. there is another book coming out in october (sortof-compilation of stories) but eeep there it is!! literary THUD to the nth!!! as far as brain sex goes, it was the best i've ever had! :) (doing the eric happy dance) and not just because eric and sookie wind up together in every good hard, dirty hot possible way. (why yes, i'm a dork, thanks for noticing! DUUUUH@!)

it's because southern vampire wordsmith girl is goooood. she lives in arkansas, not that far away, either....hmmmm...might be time for a road trip...

and speaking of travel i have a favor to ask of my memphis readers...anyone interested in going to new york? i sortof acted on one of those rash impulses and redeemed my flyer points as a bday present to me and i find now that i won't be going. departs early afternoon friday july 3 and returns on my bday july 6. now i'm going to nashville for my real bday present. i put an ad up on craigslist and while i'm not trying to make a killing, belle's tkt was just under $250. but ideally i just want someone to help me fix my bleeping bike more than i want cash. i finally got to ride with someone this weekend and THAT my friend is my true addiction!! i get to go to bike night tomorrow if the weather holds!

of course i hate being a passenger, lol-im not a control freak UNLESS im on the bike.

anyways if you know of somebody, please steer them to the cl ad or email me directly! gracias!

okay, so much going on in my head right now...what else? oh yes! i borrowed the cat trap my boss's wife had bought when we fixed the little at work feral kitty last night. i got all the locals who i feed inside and put the trap on the porch with tuna fish in it.

guess who was in it when i heard it snap? lol i half expected a raccoon but it was a very angry alice!! she and little jane are having a hissy reunion this morning but hopefully jane will chill out a bit. even though she definitely seemed lonely i think jane liked being the only lap cat because she was being such a cuddle bug in alice's absence.



between the sex and the book and watching "taken" (which fucking ROCKED-god bless you, liam your poor poor soul) and the meowing and hissing between the catten sisters all night i am a tired tired girl.

tired, walking funny, but happy.

don't that beat all?

i'd almost forgotten what happy felt like, too.

i'm sure i'll be back to my sad lonely self before long, but today i'm not going to look this gift horse in the mouth, i'm going to ride it hard and put it away wet.
listen in to nasty love