donut stalkers and such

wow, what a month for freaks! june is scaring me.



i'm kinda hitting a day by day and sometimes hour to hour or even occasionally moment to moment kind of existence this month. mental illness or business as usual? who can say? (sure as hell isn't me!!) and i know i'm not alone in this because i have had some freaky weird experiences this month. went to check out the new dunkin donuts-first one in memphis a couple weekends ago and this weird like 50 something white haired golfer looking man in a suzuki suv something or other kept walking to and from my car like he was going to talk to me. i was on the phone, acting like i was really into it because he kept looking over at me. CREEPY! i made a point of avoiding eye contact and waited for him to leave. he stayed and lingered in his car a while so i went back inside to use the bathroom. when i came out he wasn't in his car or anywhere that i could see, that is, until i stepped off the curb and he came up behind me from beside the building. out comes my phone so i pretend to talk more "la la la" gesticulating wildly and fake laughing "Giggle giggle hahahaha thats so INTERESTING." I turn on my car engine and run the a/c oblivious. I see him finally get in his flipping car and once he's pulling out, i decide it's safe to go now-i'll be behind him. SO as i'm pulling out, i see him frantically waving me down, and i ignore him, get into my turn lane-(which i figure he can't from the right lane he's in.) i peel off and make for the freeway, no problem, right? only at the freeway on ramp, he's fucking right behind me!! wtf!! it's kinda like being stalked by rush limbaugh or something. just, so, "ew." so i figure i will make for the other side of the tracks and zooom along the freeway (i'm an excellent driver) after i hit the big fwy interchange im pretty sure it's good, and figure goofy man has gone back to whatever middle class hell spawned him and his pink polo shirt wearing ilk. a little freaked, i start to shift lanes and see the bastard shift into the same lane about 6 cars back.

NOW i get nervous. i floor it, zip up past a couple exits and swing off onto a busy one. The bastard actually pulls up behind me again and i peel out of the exit in front of another car that didn't like me peeling out in front of them but oh well. They delayed him enough for me to zoom the f up the next intersection and i take a sudden turn behind a restauraunt not far away, then zip behind and wait. I'm narrating all this from the interchange on to a friend on the phone and i'm like eeeeeeeeee all jittery and bugging. i let about 5-10 minutes pass and just when i'm thinking its good to pull out and head home, oh fresh holy be-leeping hell, there the fucker is slowly tooling around the parking lot, looking for me!!!. oh HELL no! i do another 360 down the street and around another corner that leads me back onto the freeway and head back the way i came. i know if i was thinking i should have just driven to a police station but i was just like too wired and frazzle freaked.

anyway i think he finally realized he was living a fucking pipe dream that i would ever in a million years be interested in speaking to someone who scared the shit out of me like that,and gave up. all i know is he ruined dunkin donuts for me big time.
ass hat.