eschew obfuscation

Some days are better than others.
Thanks, K for trying to make this one better and not worse.
But thanks most of all for being so patient and fuck.
I saw jred today and it kills me sometimes.
he didn't look so good-i'm *really* not being catty, lol, he just didn't.
i get the senior discount thing now-he looks much older than me.
serious grampa mojo which explains some things the neighborhood kids mentioned.
and for extra gratification, i was wearing his donnas shirt, lol
it was awesome because i pretty much scared him back into HIS house for a change.
he saw meand claire and hightailed it inside so he wouldnt get in trouble with the boss, lol.
claire said after lunch when she went to the library with geoff he had the nerve to wave at them.
pretty impressive.

so.
alice is still missing and im trying to bury my worry in cuddling jane.
its the 3rd day really so im starting to get more fearful.
it's been a shit sandwich kind of day and i really have had my fill.
it exasperates the hell outta me when people -ok jd, can't just take a fucking clue.
sometimes words are too much.
i'm crazy, that's been pretty much established.
but he has to just keep on telling me all the reasons im a bad person.
most of the reasons of course, previously disclosed.
blah blah blah
why? if i suck so phenomenally, let it go.
i never claimed to be suitable for anyone or thing, so please
let
it
go
!! there it is! going!
bye bye!!
now that that chapter has ended im looking to try something new.
something NOT onthe internet, for that way there be monsters.
i'm not any better off today than i was yesterday.
tomorrow is just as grim and bleak but it's my tomorrow for now.
i can't say i expect a pretty ending, certainly not a neat or happy one.
but it will be mine, and i get to write it.
on my own.
i did manage to read every charlaine sookie novel and while i did the silly of reading them outta order, i really enjoyed them tremendously. and i know that patricia has added more to the "moon called" series i so enjoy, so i just may have to try the used book store on monday.
i should be here through the summer for sure.
not being able to plan ahead with any surety has been such a colossal gaping hole in
my gut that i am trying blinders and the one day at a time thing.
i almost wish i COULD become an alcoholic just for the get out of brain free card, but
i dislike the after effects far too much.
and i am setting my sights just a wee bit higher.
not much, lol but some.
like newt, my demons come out mostly at night.
mostly.